Parenting, Socialising and WORK

I’m part time single parenting a single child in a small town. It’s nothing like when I was growing up. I had mum and dad, 2 siblings, no technology and the family only had one car. It was used by dad going to work. We walked or biked everywhere, on our own, from an early age on. I was the oldest so I looked after the younger ones. We had the choice of going outside or stay in our room. Most of the time we were outside, in the garden or out on the streets with the neighbour kids and friends.

We romantizise the old days, I don’t remember enough details to be able to apply it to today, all I have is what feels right. Which of course is shaped by the social surroundings and conditioning as well. And it depends totally on where the child is at. Now at almost 11 our son is showing the urge to be more independent, so much that I am leaving the house early to let him get himself ready and walk the short distance to school. It’s teaching him to watch the clock, remember his stuff and take responsibility to start the day. It also saves my sanity, as I’m painfully aware how different his self-organisation is to mine.

He is not getting the spontaneous catchups with his friends that I had. Playdates and appointments are made with back and forth texting until something is set up that both parents can rely on. He’s not the type of kid who just makes friends in the neighbourhood, not many kids out and about, possibly thanks to technology and after school commitments.

Now I’m thinking to chat to other parents to make a regular day for catching up with his friends, to hang out after school together. Sometimes not so easy because kids are jumping on school buses when they live a bit further out and we’re too close to school for buses. Maybe they all come to my house. But most parent’s organising skills can overcome these hurdles, I feel it’s very beneficial to have regular social catchups. I have seen where kids meet in school, in the same class, become friends, don’t get enough time together other than in class, become disruptive and get separated.

My parenting tip coming from these ponderings is to have regular catchups with friends, set the stage and let it evolve organically. I also remember hearing and reading about how former school friends get us into careers or jobs or businesses. Many great success stories come from great friendships.

And my takeaway is that I need to also work on my social ties, make time to catch up with friends or pick up the phone to check in. It’s work we have to do and stay connected, which is a major factor for a long and happy life.

Excellent listening on the podcast https://humanetech.com/podcast/ on how technology can help human interaction instead of disrupting it.

Published by Anja O'Connor

Small business & system sympathiser, healthy business advocate.

2 thoughts on “Parenting, Socialising and WORK

  1. I think it is great you are encouraging independence in the mornings, should this same independence not flow on to him initiating social get togethers with friends, rather than scheduling "play dates" like when they were toddlers? Otherwise it seems a little forced rather than the natural "organic" nature you write of. Friendship should always be just for friendship, never for the gains you can make from that friendship eg "careers, jobs, businesses". Never enter a relationship with those thoughts or it may be viewed as "using". Just more thoughts to ponder.

    Like

    1. Excellent questions to ponder, thank you Bridget!Forcing relationships is not on the radar, only enforcing boundaries of technology time, so they start making contacts and sorting out their own times/place/dates to meet. Few other parents are going along with it, so far. We all work with where the child is at, but new experiences definitely are the biggest part of growing up.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: